Why Marriage is Important for LGBT Couples

Personal and economic commitments are at the core of matrimony. Love, honor, obey - and support.

At the core of the gay marriage deliberation is the absense of equality and evident discrimination based on sexual preference. Marriage is sanctified by religious ceremonies where a man and a woman stand up in front of their families, friends, and for believers, before God, and declare their commitment to each other and only to each other.

LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) couples also desire to publicly affirm their promise for the same reasons as straight couples - love and support. For myself, I am not so sentimental.

Unfortunately, the federal government and the majority states confer exclusive, exceptional benefits only to married couples made up of one man and one woman. In the United states, married couples receive more than 1,300 legal and monetary benefits not offered to unmarried individuals. That is just on the national level with regard to taxes, estates, housing, employment, survivor, social security, and military dependents, along with others.

One of the fundamental flaws of democracy is mob rule. We have protections in the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights which are set out to protect individuals, but governments have created ways to benefit one group above another predicated on race, gender, national origin, or sexual preference.

In the situation of 1,300+ benefits in favor of married couples, the pair must be one man and one woman. All other partners need not apply.

To confine marriage privileges and benefits solely to opposite gender partners required the passage of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in 1996. This law prohibits the federal government from acknowledging anything other than a one man-one woman marriage and permits the states to disregard same-sex marriages performed in other states.

In a one-page law, Congress discarded "equal protection" based on sexual preference and the "full faith and credit" clause of the U.S. Constitution which requires states to recognize marriages performed in other states.

For instance, when I was growing up in Virginia, couples too young to get married would drive to South Carolina to lawfully get married then come back home. Virginia would acknowledge the "underage" marriage as legitimate. (Before 1967, however, Virginia would not recognize interracial marriages performed in other states.)

Most gay partners want to have their commitments revered as are traditional marriages.

Until same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships, and civil unions are acknowledged by the federal government, LGBT and alternative families will have to rely on a mixture of a Secure Couple LLC ™ and additional legal documents to achieve even a small percentage of the 1,300+ legal and monetary benefits available to married couples.

Visit http://securecouplellc.com for more information on how to arrange your life to assert your relationship until the general public and society catch up with reality.

Charles F. Lamm is a retired attorney now supporting Secure Couple LLC - http://www.securecouplellc.com - for couples who cannot or who choose not to marry.